Today, I was having lunch with a friend of mine that has an eight year old daughter that is extremely bright and lovingly strong willed. We got to talking about her challenge working with her daugther to secure her math facts in addition and subtraction. Her daughter can be rather obstinate with practicing her math facts and at school her overall test grades for the facts test are not increasing. In fact, at times they are decreasing. Is this because she is not bright, no way! Perhaps, it is because she is threatened by the pressure of high performance and just shuts down to protect her self-esteem.
Anyhow this lunch discussion, was the perfect opportunity for me to share with her what I have been researching in my Human Motivation class about goal setting for children. I explained to her the importance of her daughter setting her own goals and her first question was, "well, what if she only sets a goal of learning one new fact?" I told her "then let her set the goal of one new fact!" Her next question was, "well, what if she continues to set the goal of only one new fact?" I responded with, "then you let her set that goal and praise the heck out of her when she achieves it. Eventually, I guarantee your daughter will be on her way to setting more lofty goals with her math facts."
So, we are going to use this situation as a little experiment and sees what happens. I will let you know how this all works out.
In the meantime, here are some strategies to help your children set realistic goals and how you can help along the way:
* Try to avoid steering your child towards a goal that YOU want them to achieve
* Give your child choice in their goals and help them track their growth
* Share your goals with your child and explain how you are going to achieve them
* Help your child set up a plan on how they are going to achieve their goal (how long will it take, challenges that may arise, how to get help)
* Praise and acknowledge your child when you see them accomplishing their goal
Carrie, I'm interested to hear how the experiment is going! I think your first strategy is one of the most important ones to list so I'm glad you did so. It can be very difficult to get parents to see and understand that their young one is not THEM and that they have their own academic struggles and challenges to overcome. It's important for the child to develop their own sense of self and self worth so that they are able to articulate their own goals. Once this is accomplished, they can begin to come up with strategies together that will enable goal achieving. I also love the idea of planning the goal and then tracking it. Great advice!
ReplyDeleteAfter reading more about praise in Alderman (2003) and the Kohn (1995) article “Punished by Rewards” (week 6 reading for ESPY 6600), how do you feel about your comment, “Praise and acknowledge your child when you see them accomplishing their goal”? Alternatively, you could ask them how they feel about achieving their goals and have them reflect about the process of achieving the goal. This opportunity to build metacognitive skills is the exact opportunity that Alderman (2003) calls for.
ReplyDeleteI believe the opportunity to share and discuss goals is paramount. If individuals verbalize and share their goals, they make the goal a more significant presence in their mind and come closer to visualizing success.
You also mentioned not steering a child’s goals. That is admirable, but I see it as a fine line to walk. What if the child says, I don’t want to set a multiplication goal. How do you steer them toward success without taking away their autonomy?